'Spying' on IM-ers?

It's the other kind of "domestic surveillance," as Washington Post columnist Ruth Marcus put it, and parents of teenagers all know it's just as controversial as the NSA kind. Ruth feels nostalgia for less "ethically ambiguous" times, e.g., the pre-instant-messaging and MySpace era, and some parents are heaving sighs of relief that their kids went off to college before they had to deal with these issues. A lot of parents shared their views on monitoring and how best to protect online kids during a discussion today tied to Ruth's column. Only one mom pointed to one of the biggest risks to social well-being, reputations, and futures that online communications present teens: how hard it can be to take something back. Whether it's a comment emailed/IM'd/posted unthinkingly or a photo uploaded impulsively, it can be copied and pasted to "places" where it can never be taken back. Whether or not and for how long it's re-posted, -emailed, -uploaded, -IM'd, -texted, or shared around global file-sharing networks (and stored on millions of hard drives) depends on the whim or good graces of friends, ex-friends, and strangers. In the vast majority of cases, nasty re-publishing doesn't happen, never will, but it can, and kids and parents need to know this. Your thoughts on this are welcome, via anne@netfamilynews.org or NetFamilyForum.org.